There Is Something Crucial We Can Learn From A Peacock

In the quest for love? Behavioral science can help. Send your question to MazeQuest@thelovemaze.com. Questions may be revised and edited.

Dear Maze,

"I'm dating a girl whom I really really like, more like… love. I don't think she is on the same page though. I think she is probably still at the 'wait and see' stage. What can I do to make her fall in love with me? Or at least get closer to seal the deal?"

While falling in love is a complex process, there is a powerful shortcut leading to that. That is "admiration." Managed well, admiration can be the ingredient for a long lasting love. The power of admiration is well presented in nature and documented in human social-psychology. What do we learn from a male peacock showing off his beautiful long tail? He is soliciting admiration from his potential mates. He for sure has a gorgeous tail but does that mean he is a good lover? Oh yes! That's how our mind works. One merit in one area is readily transferred to other unrelated areas in our cognitive process and influences our judgement. That's called the Halo Effect. Find what you are good at or know a lot about, be it arts, music, food, wine, sports, poker, anything. Show her your passion, teach her your expertise, or bring her to an activity where your knowledge or skills can shine to wow her and make her proud. Imagine you muscle up in the soccer field while she eagerly watches and cheers for you by the side. That moment could be a total game changer. The rest is history.

Have a maze quest? Send your question to MazeQuest@thelovemaze.com. Questions may be revised and edited.

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