Always Fall For The Wrong Type? Here Is A Solution


In the quest for love? Behavioral science can help. Send your question to Questions may be revised and edited.

Dear Maze,

"I feel like being cursed. I always fall for the wrong type. It's a different person each time, but they all belong to the same type—the type with whom I can never have a future. The sad thing is, I knew it from day one but somehow just couldn't pull myself out. So I sank deeper and deeper until I hit the bottom then wept over a broken heart. Then it starts all over again. I know what the right kind is for me, but I'm just not attracted to that 'good' type. How can I break the vicious cycle and get on the right track? –Marilou"

Yes, our heart and mind part ways all the time. The mind says one thing, while the heart fancies something else. More often than not, the heart wins.

One way to help our mind take control is to utilize the Placebo Effect. The Placebo Effect is when an improvement is observed, despite an individual receiving a placebo as opposed to active medical treatment. It represents a fascinating connection between mind and body. Find yourself the right type and force yourself to date them. You might feel reluctant and unnatural in the beginning but keep going. Find the goodness in dating such persons and their attributes. Enjoy the different feel and the fresh happiness they bring to you. Tell yourself that you are falling in love. You'll be surprised how much your feelings and behaviors will follow your belief. You must have heard many stories of "I wasn't attracted at first. The more I got to know them, the more I liked them." Soon you will have a story of your own. It's not love at first sight, but it's the love that lasts.

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